WARNING: DON'T UPGRADE YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO WIFE
Dear Tech Support Team,
# Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
# In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
# Applications such as Bachelor Nights 10.3 , Play Ball 5.0 , Beer With Buddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
# I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
# I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0 .
"A Troubled User"
# REPLY: Dear Troubled User,
# This is a very common problem that people complain about.
# Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
# Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
# It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0 .
# It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
# You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this.
(Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support).
# I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.
# I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
# The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
# Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
# Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and Do Laundry 4.2.
# However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.
# Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software Dresses 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0.
# WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system and to your computer as well.
# Enjoy your week and good laugh